I bet you thought I'd died? No?
Our internet went down, Hubby asked if I was prepared to do the same and I pretended not to understand. Sigh! sometimes it's just easier?
I'm still here, still kicking (and screaming). Latest news includes. The mortgage company want to repossess us. Oh joy!! Why is it when you have NOTHING they demand payment TODAY with extra charges. Hubby's work has gone drier than the sahara, well whaddya expect for a sea captain in a dry county, as in dry I mean no water, but don't get me started.
Me, well? as talented as I am. No, I CAN stroke my stomach while rubbing my head. Not that it gets me very far. Apart from static hair and a sore stomach that is. Well I have been made redundant. From WHAT? I only pretended to work in the first place. But they are giving me 3g's to get the hell out so I shouldn't complain.
Meanwhile, if any of you know how to connect to the internet from a tent do contact me. And if you thought I was hiding coz I got fat again, NO CHANCE!! I live on adrenalin and Vodka. Not a good combination, but you have some interesting dreams. What WAS Chris Moyles doing broadcasting from my Dad's old wash house? Answers on a postcard. No prize but it might give me something to burn when all the creditors move in.
I can write you an article. I can wash you an article, I can call you a PROPER article. I'll dig your garden. But I do draw the line at washing your smalls. Other than that, any offer of employment is good. Deployment isn't quite the same, but thankyou the MOD for offering to shoot me out of a cannon. Sadly I'm not quite the right calibre for that kind of job. Oh jeez I'm sorry, but the old jokes are the best.
Do I sound manic. Aaaah, if only you could see me. And thank Gawd you can't.
Stick around I might STILL make news at 10 or newsnight or Crimewatch, although I doubt it. I'm all gob me.............................
