I have just bought a lovely (I thought) pair of over the knee flat boots in black. I was delighted with them and thought they would be great with my jeans and leggings all winter (Trendy? That’s me).

Imagine my disappointment then, when I discovered that now my legs are not a plump as they once were, the boots sag in little heaps around my ankles instead of staying firmly just above the knee.

I’m gutted. No really I am. So what’s the answer, do I put on weight to hold me boots up? Or do I find a way of keeping them up. I was thinking about getting some bits of elastic. Those of us who grew up in the sixties will remember garters. But will I look stupid (do I care?) Son’s girlfriend suggested pinning them to my leggings, but knowing my luck, all that would happen is that the boots would drag down the leggings and leave me exposing my under crackers to a perplexed, nay dismayed public.

It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened to me.

A few years ago I lost a similar amount of weight, and bought a pair of hold ups (stockings without suspenders) to wear under my business suit to an important breakfast meeting. As I stopped at the garage to get petrol, I felt them start to slip a bit. So bought a pair of tights while I was there, just in case.

As I arrived at the meeting, some of the posh delegates drew up in the next car and shouted good morning. As I walked towards them the stockings started to move further and further down my legs. My walk became stranger and stranger (in a knock kneed) sort of way, in an effort not to do a complete Norah Batty in the car park.

In the end, I kind of hopped and staggered to the ladies to change into the tights. Leaving the delegates standing there, looking puzzled and commenting to each other, that they hadn’t realised I was disabled.

I don’t have a posh job anymore. Is there any wonder? ……………………………