Size 10 by teatime

Oh dear. I have always prided myself on being the cool Mom. No.1 son has always shared things with me, from the fear of being rejected by his first loves, to will it REALLY make you blind?

I have always been cool and practical, and realistic and kept it all in perspective. Known what was cool at the moment and thought I was pretty much up to date.

Not so it seems.

Today, No.1 Son and girlfriend called round for a coffee and a chat. Girlfriend is worried about a work colleague who is clearly taking drugs and seems messed up and wanted my advice on how to help her.

So I took a sip of my coffee and asked "so what's the story then?"

Well said Girlfriend, she's admitted to smoking crack, but she has a chequered past, and used to self harm.

Sorry? I said, she used to sell what?

You know Mom, says No.1 son, Self Harm, cut herself and stuff.

Well, I started to giggle, (and please, Self Harming is NOT funny and I have great compassion for people who do this). But what I thought she said was "she used to sell farm"

No.1 son immediately knew what I thought she had said, and started to giggle too, until the both of us were helpless with laughter, while girlfriend look confused.

I collected myself eventually enough to tell her that, I had heard of crack, smack and dope, but not farm.

So there were all three of us helpless. I'm clearly too old for the youth culture.

Maybe I need an ear clean, or just a lie down........................

So here I sit procrastinating. It's aint pretty You see, I should be cleaning the bathroom, and then they yard and then the Oops dropped off for a minute.

But I'd rather just bore you lot silly with my inane ramblings, it takes less effort somehow.

Hubby did the cleaning yesterday, but sadly his version of cleaning only extends to the foot of our stairs. Literally.

I've vacuumed the stairs and gone over all the bits Hubby missed yesterday in his laisser faire half assed cleaning foray. I don't want to moan (but I will) but never to him because somedays half assed is ok by me. Today, he is working and so that leaves me and Dawg. I've tried to talk Dawg into cleaning the bathroom, (most of it is his mess following his bath yesterday). But we've only got as far as drinking out of the toilet. Well Dawg has, I had an orange squash instead.

So I've promised myself that if I can get my aged old keister up the stairs and give the bathroom the attention it deserves, and not just a flick with a damp cloth. The I shall treat Dawg and I to a lovely romp in the fields. It's a lovely day and not really designed for bathroom cleaning. There I go again talking myself out of it.

Right!! I'm going, where's the bog brush................