Well it was fat fighters again tonight. I dragged my diseased body out of my pit and went to get weighed. No, No, don't gasp in admiration. I'm a tough cookie, and as we've already said, it wasn't man flu. Just the lesser female kind (a bit of a sniffle).
I wasn't expecting miracles, because mucus weighs heavy, and I am the epitamy of a snot monster right now. So I went in just for the weighing bit. I took off everything I possibly could (as usual). Wooden leg, fake boobs, false teeth, glass eye (you get the picture) I hopped on the scales, well it's difficult without the leg.
The guy that was doing the weighing made me get on twice, well hop. He was aghast (and so was I). I lost 3.5lbs. Woohoo!! Am I a happy bunny, I would say so!
I weigh 10 stone something for the first time in years. I am turning back into a babe, albeit with a wooden leg, glass eye, false teeth, and fake boobs. But the guys at the nursing home at the end of our road wake up when I go past. That might have something to do with the volume of my stereo. But I can dream.
The guy at the scales got all excited (NO. not in that way). You should stay for class he said, you'll get slimmer of the week with that loss.
Slimmer of the week gets a prize! Yey. It is all the odds and sods other members have brought and put in a bowl. I had seen the contents while I was paying. There was a yoghurt, two cereal bars, an overipe banana and an incontinence pad. Well, nothing I don't have at home then?
It's ok, I said, I'm feeling rough, I'll just go home.
So here I am. Celebrating with a nice big Vodka and (diet) coke. I love this losing weight lark. Now. All I have to do is lose another 9lbs and I will be at target and not have to pay anymore. Then comes the hard bit. Keeping it off. Mmmmmmmmmm........................
