Getting a weigh with it
Just got back from my weekly Fat Fighters weigh in, and I lost a pound. Don't ask me how, I have no idea, especially since I have been residing on the planet PIG this week.
Ohh well done! said consultant in her best patronising voice! You HAVE done well. I felt about 3 years old and demanded a lollipop. Did you follow the plan I suggested? For those new to my idiotic empire, she was referring to the leaflet she gave me last week entitled "Let's starve ourselves" the way to eat yourself from the inside!! Erm, no, I said, I did something else. Oh what was that then? Well alot of liquids I said. Good, Good, she said clapping her hands together so her chins wobbled in a very intersting way. WATER is a marvellous aid to weight loss!!
Yes, I said, but this was Vodka and it seems to have done the trick! The Paprika crisps were lovely too, although I can't find them on the plan. Oh and I did enjoy a whole bowl of chocolate Angel Delight on Saturday. Do you think that might be the secret?
She looked shocked (no, she did!). Well it might catch up with you next week she spluttered. Well, I said, I have a plan. I intend to run very very fast for most of next week, I'll text you and let you know how far I get shall I? No response. Oops I thought! Gone too far this time, but no, she was examining a hairy mole on her big toe (how they get in I don't know? We had bison last week!) I put my clothes on (well, it's not good unless you're naked is it) and slunk back to my seat.
Needless to say when she went around the room she didn't ask me to tell the class how I had succeeded in losing weight this week. Don't know why.
I skipped into the house and yelled Yippee, I lost a pound. Hubby looked up from his colouring book. AGAIN? he said, you really ought to be more careful with your money.....................
