I really need to have a word with myself. This dieting lark is doing me no good at all. I have this need to weigh myself ALL the time and it's getting ridiculous. Last night for instance. Having just shoveled down a large chicken dinner, with all the trimmings. No, it's not on the fat fighters programme, well not the roast spuds, yorkshire puds and gravy any road. But I have to tell you, it was delicious. I shan't be telling "consultant". I only disclose information to her on a need to know basis, and she really doesn't need to know the extent of my pigginess.

However, fatfighters meeting is tomorrow night, and I've frankly eaten too much. Now, I know there are certain poor individuals who eat too much and then "purge" I think the word is. But I have only 50% of this problem. I can binge, but I could not more stick my fingers down my throat than I could sleep with our window cleaner (don't ask).

Back to my original point, still awake? good! So it's late, I am a little "relaxed". Well relaxed as a newt to be frank, and no THAT isn't on the fatfighters programme either. So on my way to bed I decide that now might be a good time to weigh myself (why? you tell me I've clearly lost all reasoning). So I creep in to the spare room where the scales are, stark naked (oh don't! this is NOT page 3, mark you, they've got nothing I haven't got twice as much of) crouch down and reach up to put the light on, move the scales to under the window with my foot and kind of crouch on the scales. Well, you see, there are no curtains in the spare room and I didn't want the neighbours ringing the old bill and asking if there were reports of an escaped elephant.

So there I am crouching, naked under the window and peering at the dial because I hadn't got my specs on either. Hubby passing the room on his way to bed peers in and asks "what on EARTH are you doing" "Weighing myself" I replied with perfect logic. "Didn't it occur to you to put a robe on and move the scales into the bathroom" he asked with eyebrows raised. Ermmmm, well no, actually it didn't.

Still, the good news is that I was actually lighter than I thought. But then tonight I got home from work and got on again. With light clothing on, and I'm now 2lbs heavier. SO. Guess who will be crouching on the scales naked at fatfighters tomorrow. Well NOT me, I'll be sober and I'm frightened of consultant, she'll keep me behind and it's AA after us. The bar is never open and anyhow, I prefer the other kind of roadside assistance.

See ya............................