Thane Burnett

Who the F***

I know. Hubby was surfing, well it makes a change from scratching, so one of us was relieved. He is a colonial, so he wanted to know how his Country was doing in the Olympics. They haven't had a great success ever since Ben Johnson took that nasal spray or crack cocaine or whatever it was. He's Australian so why would he care? No just kidding, he grew up just north of the USA. Or the loud neighbours next door as he prefers to call them.

He found this article. Written by a Canadian correspondent in Bejing. He laughed, I laughed the dog threw up but I don't think it was personal. Just too much chicken skin (don't ask).

So I thought you guys might enjoy it, or not, let me know..........

I really like it here.
I know there's that whole human rights debacle, but the people themselves are nice.
They are so happy to see me, where ever I go — other than any place where there may be controversy or protests.
So following the end of the Games, I have decided to become China's next emperor, and create the perfect country.
I will be fair, but judgmental with my people. I will be firm, yet grumpy on Monday mornings.
In my country, there will be no parking ticket attendants or cashiers who stay chatting on their cell phones as they serve you.
In-laws will have to stay at a hotel while visiting their daughter's family.
As China's new leader, I will demand that any male with a full and lush head of hair - as tribute to their emperor - shave their heads.
Each week, I will make up a new holiday.
All pizzas will come with extra-cheese.
Men will no longer have to fold and put away their socks and underwear. In my new China, it will be able to stay in a heap at the foot of the bed. Even when dirty.
Hi-Def cable will be free to everyone.
Someone else will cut your grass on hot days.
Your kids will never ask for more money, and your daughter's boyfriend will have to get up off the coach when you walk into the room.
I will outlaw silly, pretentious names for the size of coffee, other than small, medium and large.
I will teach my people the wonders of a good steak and how it's OK to cheat at poker, if you're playing with members of your own family.
And if you're one of those drivers who pulls over into the merge lane to jump a line of traffic, you will be shot. Then your pet will be found, and it will be shot as well.
These are some of my rules. I will have many more, changing almost daily.
I really like it here.